What to Say (and Not Say) When Someone Is Grieving

Most people want to help, but feel awkward. The truth: you don’t need perfect words—you need presence.

What to say (simple, supportive)

• “I’m so sorry. I’m here.”
• “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you.”
• “Would you like to talk about them?”
• “What would help most today?”
• “I’m thinking of you—no need to reply.”

What to avoid (even if well-meant)

• “They’re in a better place.” (can land wrong)
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “At least they lived a long life.”
• “I know exactly how you feel.”
• “Let me know if you need anything.” (too vague)

Better than “let me know”

Offer one specific action:

• “I can drop off dinner Tuesday—does that work?”
• “Want me to handle a few phone calls or emails?”
• “I’ll take the kids Saturday morning.”
• “Can I walk the dog this week?”

The best support is follow-through

Grief lasts longer than the first week. Put a reminder in your calendar to check in:

• 2 weeks
• 1 month
• birthdays/holidays
• the anniversary

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