How can my family and friends participate in my service?

By: Nathan McKinlay
Wednesday, March 8, 2023

How can my family and friends participate in my service?

When planning a funeral event, there are various ways family and friends can participate. Here are a handful of ways.

Eulogy – For those who feel compelled to speak, there is always an opportunity to share a eulogy. This is likely the most involved role one can take on, and ought not to be forced on anyone who is not feeling up to it. That being said, the eulogy is truly what personalizes a service above all else.

Read a poem or a reading – If one is comfortable with public speaking, but does not wish to put their own thoughts to page, having a family member read a poem, or a reading is a great way to have them participate.

Singing or playing an instrument – To those with a musical skillset, this is a great way to pay tribute to your loved one.

Read a eulogy on the writer’s behalf – Not all eulogists wish to get in front of a crowd. In these cases, one person can write the eulogy and another family member can read it. This is also something the Celebrant, Minister or Funeral Director can do if no one else is comfortable.

Pallbearer or Urn Bearer – This is a very physical way a family member can participate in laying their loved one to rest. It is often done by friends of the family, and more recently grandchildren or even the children of the deceased themselves.

Flower Bearer – Sometimes, you can say more with a flower than you can with words. A flower bearer will often lay a single flower at the grave or in the Funeral Coach.

Honour Bearer – An honour bearer can participate, either by forming a line with other honour bearers, or simply by sitting in a special section during the service. An honour bearer receives the honour due to their connection and history to the decreased. It is a way of acknowledging the relationship without putting too much of a burden on the participant. An honour bearer does not even need to be present for the service to be recognized. An example of this would be if someone is living in a nursing home and is unable to attend.

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